Praying the Psalms

One of the blogs I subscribe to is a daily devotional based on a Psalm. It starts at one and cycles through them numerically, then starts again on one. Today's reading was Psalm 42. It is one of the Psalms of lament, in which the author cries out to God, this time feeling deserted by God. As I was reading this, it really resonated with me. It speaks to my frustration in leading worship when I don't feel like worshiping myself--how in the world am I supposed to lead other people in worship when I am not in a "worship mood" yourself? Those days when there were sound issues caused by the gremlins that no one knows how it happened or why, or when I'm just plain in a bad mood? In a more broad sense, how, as a leader in any context, do you lead during the times you feel more like following someone else's lead?

For me, it's those days when I'm tempted to just shut up and sing, which is different from the days when I don't know what to say so I don't say much. It's a challenge for me, but I'm learning that it is those same days when "my soul wants to sing the blues" that I have to trust that God can still use me.

That's what I love about the Psalms--the ones singing God's praise are right next to the ones crying out to God in anger, frustration, sadness, worry, you name it. They are both healthy reactions as they balance each other out. How do you find balance in your relationship with God?

Youth Sunday

Yesterday was Youth Sunday at Ridge Church. The youth read scripture, led prayers and music, and preached. They did a great job! Of course, nerves were an issue, but that's to be expected. I was a nervous wreck because I played piano for a violin duet, and I think that was the first time I have ever accompanied instruments. Plus, the whole youth group sang a song for Offering at all three services. For all of the struggling I've done to get youth at choir and bell rehearsals, it was really neat to have so many voices!

Again tonight I will be stepping out of my comfort zone to lead at Dalit tonight. We'll be watching a Nooma video from Rob Bell, pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Michigan. They're short videos, each on a different topic. This week is the fourth time we have used them for Dalit. Tonight I plan on giving us enough time to get out of our back room at Rodney's and play pool, GoldenTee, darts, or whatever.

I don't really like leading discussions. I feel like, if I had wanted to do that, I would have been a teacher or pastor, or something other than a musician. I like using other people's words--it's less work and less intimidating. Maybe it's lazy, too, but whatever, it works for me.

On an unrelated note, my weatherbug says its 39.7 degrees outside! That's warmer than it's been here in forever! I hope some of this snow melts.