I've been struggling lately to find inspiration for planning worship, for several reasons that I won't get into here. But on Sunday and then again as I was singing with my iPod yesterday, I contemplated for a moment how my life would be different if I couldn't sing. What would I "do" with my life if I I didn't really delve deep into the line of thinking, because I fear that I don't have the answer for what that would fully mean. I really think my identity, and to a large extent, my self-worth, is tied to my musical gifts, specifically singing. it's who I am and what I do. Not that I have the best or most beautiful voice. I don't pretend that I do. But I do feel like my voice is accessible for others to follow and join with me.
I didn't come to any conclusions about what I would do if suddenly I would be unable to sing. I think there will come a day when that is the case. The voice is one of those parts of the body that shows its age, and I don't want to be the lady in the choir who everyone else wishes would "retire." A woman at my last church retired herself from the choir, at a point when I believe others still wanted her. That's how I want to go: when I'm still wanted rather than when everyone else wishes I would just get the heck out. I have no desire to be the warbler.
Anyway, this whole experience started me thinking about what I would do if I wasn't SingerClinger. What if I was just Heather? I wonder what that would be like.